When nature calls!

       A meeting at any given fashion magazine to decide upon the trendiest must-haves of the moment.]Editor:Alright writers, in June we had 10 Best Hairstyles to Suit Your Face .In July it was Nine Hairstyles to Flatter Your Visage... Plus One More . And of course, we saved the best until August with You Don't Have to Hate Your Face With These 10 Hairstyles .Minion:We're still so creative after all these years!The Only Sane Person in the Room:Aren't those the same stories? I feel like I'm taking yaa that makes me baa !Minion:Gawwwd , you don't appreciate fashion. So we're going to knock the split ends off our readers with hairstyles for September?Editor:Well, that's what they would expect [evil smirk]. But let's give the fashion industry a trend they've never seen before! It's so maniacal, I'm scared to even say it! I'll give you a clue - animal print!The Only Sane Person in the Room:It's not a clue if you just told us what it is. And animal print has been in style since the 1980s.Editor:Like anybody remembers what happened in the 80s! Animal print is the trend of the moment, and you will write about it. Or I'll get a top-notch designer to carefully duplicate your skin's silky smooth texture and use that print on clothes and accessories.The Only Sane Person in the Room:Err, that actually sounds more like a compliment than a threat.Minion:Ooh, I can't wait to start writing this piece! It'll be so fun! I already have the opening sentence -"Animal print fashion is so in style right now."[End of meeting.]
       Animal print fashion is so in style right now. Blasted #@!!!$%!!. The tyrannical trend totalitarian trumps again. But there's no one we can blame for the longevity of animal print in the fashion world but ourselves.Unless someone can prove that leopards, cheetahs and zebras secretly control every move made by designers and consumers (note to self: create Wikipedia page dedicated to this blatant fallacy).
       While Sheikh Hot Kotture is actually a fan of animal print for both daring women and flamboyant daring men, it doesn't excuse the fact that no other pattern has enjoyed as much time in the fashion limelight.Perhaps we should blame the media? Oh, right,we are the media , I forgot!In that case, treat your other printed items like an unwanted child.Devote your love to animal patterns this season. The unanimous favourite,leopard print, is still alive and strong, but don't dismiss the funkiness of tiger, zebra, crocodile, snakeskin, and even cow designs - in the faux variety of course.
       It's easier to speculate whether there will be a coup when our beloved PM goes to New York from September 21-27 (stay tuned!), than it is to conjecture why in the world so many people can still get animal print wrong, since it's been in fashion forever.
       But maybe animal print keeps coming back to give people another chance to learn how to wear it correctly if they didn't get it right the first time. The most important thing isn't to transform your entire wardrobe into a melange of the African savannah, but to infuse animal prints based on your current style.
       If you're a conservative dresser, wear animal print accessories such as headbands, shoes, and purses. If you're a bit wilder, you can get away with an entire animal print shirt, blazer, dress or skirt. But one at a time, please. Sticking to traditional colours such as brown,black and white is the safest choice, while animal prints paired with neon hues will immediately take you from classy to trashy.
       Sheikh Hot Kotture would also advise women to avoid wearing animal printed corsets, mini dresses, or any clothing that could be deemed "too sexy". Animal print is already sexy in itself, and if you're wearing a tight, cleavage-baring dress with a high split up the side,other women might mistake you for being an insecure, attentionseeking coquette.
       It is true that animal print will make you stand out, and if you exercise caution you will definitely draw attention in a good way and look way hotter than your friends. And now it's easier than ever to do that because when something comes back "in fashion" you can get it cheap.
       Although animal print has been around for ages, you'll still be able to find traditional colour schemes, accessories with wild styles, and the occasional print that utilises shades not found in nature.
       So no more ravaging high-end stores paying ridiculous sums for a pattern that designers didn't even come up with themselves.However, props to the person who initially sat down with a leopard and traced his spots. Your bravery has ensured that the fashion industry will always have "animal print" as a fallback when they draw a piece of paper out of a hat to decide upon the next "trend".